Hoofprints
A Satanic Epiphany
“One night a Satanist had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach alone. The waves lapped at his feet. The onyx sky speckled with myriad dots of starlight as far as the eye could perceive. The Satanist was caught in quiet reflection of the year before. As the cool sea breeze kissed his face, he smiled wistfully. Many accomplishments had occurred over the past 365 days. Some of which the Satanist did not even know would transpire. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. Some joyous and others very traumatic. The Satanist always waxed reflective this time of year. For each scene he noticed one set of hoofprints in the sand. When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the hoofprints in the sand. He noticed that there was always only one set of hoofprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life. The Satanist smiled as wide as his mortal shell would allow. He howled at the moon and uttered blasphemies out into the night sky. A wave of wonder and pride began to wash over the Satanist just as another wave of sea water lapped at his feet. He cried “I see it! I see it NOW!”
There had been only one set of hoofprints in the sand the whole time and they were mine!”
The closing line of my Satanized version of “Footprints in the Sand” is taken from my "Sinful Testimony". What is written above is how I will approach the date of 6/20 from now until I am no more. June 20th marks my 18th year removed from self-injurious practices at the hands of utilizing illicit substances as a maladaptive coping skill. I am RECOVERED. I have wasted far too many days and nights trapped in the merry-go-round “shoulding” all over myself.
The reality is that, through it all, I have been and continue to be the sole arbiter of my journey, good or bad. Yes, I admit, sometimes there was kicking and screaming. I have navigated any challenge every challenge in my life, successfully.
Thing is, and my hope is that you can see it, if you take a moment to look back in the sand, you only have one set of hoofprints too.
Congratulations on your anniversary! Hail thyself!!
I had a dream once that I was riding a horse on a beach, bareback, as fast as it would run. “I am a horse” is something Ishmael Hodges joked about in a post about his cat… but I can truly meditate on this idea for sometime, because I was the only one carrying me.